This is a Safe Post

Masturbation and Murder – The Danger of Shame

The Work from Home Effect – Why Cities May Disappear

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I’ve had people gnawing at me for a while about creating some form of a blog. A fun mix of high and low-brow humor with some education thrown in so people are (ideally) becoming smarter while unwinding. There was a problem that would rear its head, however, that would bring about much head-scratching. As with most problems, it was self-caused, so this is a Safe Post.

When I finally acquiesced to the demands of creating a blog where my stupidity could be enjoyed by everyone, it came with demands. Primarily, the demand that I push content that I want to discuss that other outlets wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. Unfortunately, the content that I want to talk about is pretty strictly controlled on the internet, by the big players of the internet.

Google doesn’t want to monetize a site where we readily discuss the horrors of child abuse in a flippant manner (like in Spank Me, Daddy), or where we discuss how clickbait leads to societal problems (like A Bad Case of Gas) that shouldn’t be named here. Facebook isn’t keen to allow us to boost posts where we mock politicians with limited wardrobes of pandering (seen in pieces such as Political Flannel), nor where we drop F-bombs like gas utilized by extremely heroic police officers (an unfortunate example found within Task Percentage).

We’re Somehow Doing Ok

In spite of this, we’re one of the fastest-growing blogs in the world 😠 with over 16,000 hits in the first month of existence. Despite the limitations, I’m going to continue to write socially awkward and shameful topics with multiple references while my editor shakes her head, daily.

Sneaky Conventions

I pulled a sneaky here on ya: this is an extremely vague claim which allows it to be factually correct. Now, I’ve developed and published a heft of blogs in my time for clients, and it does pass some scrutiny: 16k within the first month (we’re still nailing down SOPs, here) is mind-boggling, especially considering that we’re very restricted on what we can share on social media aggregator sites. Welcome to the disaster of the MadScribbler.

So, this is going to be a safe post, where corporations can revel in the idea that we’re definitely not talking about any socially difficult topics. We definitely won’t bring up attempts to define what normalcy is (Chasing Normal), as that may concern people with their own version of normalcy. We will not actively discuss the means of establishing dominance in the workplace, much like a pregnant ‘woman of the night.’ (The Pregnant Woman of the Night)

We’re not trying to offend, of course. This also means that discussing male-centric advertising ploys that would result in the extinction of the human species (case in point at the Gentleman’s Enlargement Pills) is absolutely not allowed in this post, nor should anyone discuss how the pandemic was ultimately a litmus test for idiocy (The Pandemic), lest mentally challenged individuals suddenly learn how to comprehend long-form copy.

Finally, but perhaps most importantly, there’s a complete lack of profanity within this post. This is a unique identifier, as though profanity abruptly causes an implosion when someone stumbles over a word added for additional emphasis and a bit of that low-brow humor. We aren’t eager to hurt anyone here, so we’ve crafted this Safe Post as a means of introducing ourselves.

We’re going somewhere here and want you along for the journey. We offer a new post every weekday, by 1900 EST, steeped in humor, research, and a heft of navel-gazing. To be fair, our final destination is more than likely going to be the toilet, as all waste ends up, but it should be an enjoyable journey up until we’re flushed.